White Christmas
by Paris in October
Summary: A story of Jane and Lisbon's relationship seen through their Christmases together. Totally spoiler-free.
1. Chapter 1

**Okaay, so I know I have too many multichaps unfinished to start yet another one, but this time I have everything neatly planned and will _definitely_ finish the story before Christmas. It's already December, so I think Xmas fics are finally, finally justified, aren't they? :) Pure Jisbon (as always), lots of friendship, fluff and romance (as always). Hope you guys will like it!**

**Disclaimer: Finally got my stipend last week, but it's still not enough to buy the show, unfortunately.**

* * *

'I hate shopping malls before Christmas,' complained Lisbon as she and Jane forced their way through the crowd. 'Do we really have to interview the guy here?'

'He's not going to pay us a visit any time soon, and I'm planning to solve the case before Christmas Eve.' Jane said cheerfully. 'I've always thought you are the Christmas type, decorating the yard, baking yule log, enjoying the spirit. Have you bought the tree already?'

'It's December the first, a tad bit too early. Seriously, do you believe you'll find Christmas spirit in a shopping mall? All I can feel around is rush and irritation.'

'No joy or magic? I'm sure it must be here somewhere. A-ha!' Jane stopped abruptly. 'There it is!'

'There what is?'

'Joy and magic, don't you see?' He pointed at something over her shoulder.

Lisbon turned around and saw Santa's grotto. She smiled despite herself. 'Okay, maybe _they_ really know what Christmas is about.'

They watched as excited children talked to Santa, assuring him they had been nice enough to get cool presents. A slim boy named David, not older than six, had just asked for a remote-controlled car.

'You'll get your car, David, but first you have to answer my question.' The man dressed as Santa was too thin in Lisbon's opinion, but, apart from that, was doing very well. 'Tell me, young man, do you know who an elf is?'

'Sure.' David shrugged his shoulders. 'It's a chick with pointed ears who helps Santa,' he said, at the same time checking out the girl dressed as an elf.

All the adults laughed. 'Very well, my boy. You know what's up.' Santa tried not to laugh too as he handed David his present.

'Come on, Jane.' Lisbon patted Jane's shoulder. 'We have work to do.'

'Why the hurry?' he flashed a smile. 'Five minutes won't change anything.'

Lisbon rolled her eyes. 'You're so childish sometimes. Five minutes, not a second more.'

'Didn't you like Santa's grottos when you were her age?' Jane pointed at a girl who was now on stage.

'Sorry to disappoint you, but you aren't her age anymore.'

'Killjoy.'

The girl had olive skin and unruly black curls tied in a ponytail. She confidently sat in Santa's lap and flashed a toothless smile.

'What's your name, sweetheart?'

'Julie.'

'Tell me, Julie, what is your Christmas wish?'

The girl took a deep breath. 'I want every child in the world to feel happy, safe and loved,' she recited.

'Well, that's a very important wish, Julie.' Santa patted her head and smiled.

'And a Barbie,' she added quickly, causing another gust of laughter among the crowd.

'Now that's an important wish.' Lisbon laughed, too.

'Told you it would be more fun than questioning a murderer.'

'What?' Lisbon turned to him, surprised. 'So you know he's the killer and we are standing here, watching Santa Claus?!'

'He's not going anywhere.' She wanted to say something else, but Jane silenced her with a wave of his hand. 'Hush, I want to listen to the question.'

Lisbon only rolled her eyes and tapped her foot impatiently.

'The question for you, Julie, is: who is an angel?'

The girl thought for a moment. 'It's a very pretty lady with long hair and beautiful voice. She watches over you all the time and when you are unhappy or in danger, she comes and hugs you and everything is all right then. It's a person who saves you, always.'

A sad smile danced on Jane's lips. He thought of his wife, his own Angel. She'd always made sure that their house was full of laughter and love, created a safe haven for the three of them. And he'd let them down, hadn't watched over them properly.

'Jane?' Lisbon said gently. 'We need to go.'

He nodded and followed her, away from joy and laughter of the Santa's grotto.

* * *

Two weeks later even the impersonal CBI building was buzzing with Christmas atmosphere. Colorful decorations hung in every corner, miniature Christmas trees stood on almost every desk, people hummed carols as they fought with loads of paperwork.

Jane watched as Van Pelt decorated their tree, probably the most beautiful one in the whole building. She really had an artistic flair, too bad she didn't have many opportunities to show it.

'Hey.' Lisbon approached him with two cups of tea and sat on the couch beside him.

Jane smiled as he took one cup from her. 'Hey. Have you finished the report?'

'Thankfully, yes.' She watched him closely. 'How are you doing, Jane?'

She surprised him. 'Me? I'm fine,' he said half-heartedly, knowing he wouldn't fool her, though.

'Do you have any plans for Christmas?'

She surprised him again. He sipped his tea. 'Oh, you know... The usual.'

She knew all too well. The usual, in Jane's case, meant sitting alone in a dirty motel room, with the TV as the only companion. Christmas had always been the most difficult time for him, with all the happy families around, shops full of toys and people wishing you merry Christmas. Like he had any reason to be merry. 'I'm not visiting my brothers this year, they already have other plans. Come spend the day with me, it would be nice to have company.'

He smiled. She was a terrible liar, he was sure Lisbon's brothers would never leave her alone. On the other hand, he wouldn't mind spending Christmas Day with her.

'Are you sure about that? You know I can be irritating at times.'

'Yeah, I've noticed before,' she teased him. 'But I think I can take the risk.'

He hesitated.

'Oh, come on. I know I am not a very good cook, but you'll survive.'

'Well, in that case...' He returned her smile. 'Let me prepare dinner. As a way of saying 'Thank you'.'

'It is a yes, then?'

'With pleasure, dear Lisbon.'

Her smile widened.

They turned to Van Pelt, already placing the star on top of the tree. 'Beautiful, isn't it?'

Jane thought than now, when he had somewhere to go on Christmas Day, he liked it even more than before. 'Yes, it is. Van Pelt did a good job.'

He watched Lisbon's face, her smile and sparkles in her eyes, like a five-year-old waiting for presents. He was grateful for what she did, saving him from solitude on that special day. He wondered if she knew how much that simple gesture meant to him.

Then he thought of all the times she had saved him before. On countless occasions she had been there for him, whether it was getting him out, covering for him when a stupid plan went wrong or, like that time, saving him from himself. Being close when he needed it, somehow managing to make things all right. If it hadn't been for her, he would have probably been a wreck by then.

'You know, that little girl at the mall was wrong about one thing,' he said.

'Yeah?' Lisbon turned her attention back to him. 'What is it?'

'Not all angels are the hugging type. Some of them fix you just by being close and saying the right thing when you need it.'

She blushed a little and gave him a shy smile. 'Well, I think even angels can make exceptions from time to time,' she said and pulled him closer.

Jane hid his face in her dark hair and inhaled deeply.

It must've been what safety felt like.

'Thank you, Lisbon,' he whispered. 'For everything.'


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm terribly sorry for the delay, guys, but last week was just crazy. Chapter two is finally done, and I must warn you that it's probably the most fluffy (fluffiest?) thing I've ever written. But after watching 6x09 I can safely say that 'fluff' was my official word of the week :)**

**You can blame this ****chapter on two things: a) I sprained my ankle last week, and b) it's finally snowing in Poland, we're going to have white Christmas! **

**Let me know what you think!**

* * *

_**One year later**_

It was snowing on Christmas Eve.

For the first time in seven years Christmas in Sacramento was going to be white. Or, at least, less grey than before.

Lisbon sat at her desk, finishing the report, reorganizing the papers and occasionally looking out of the window. The weather - something resembling winter - put her in good mood. Although it was only two in the afternoon, her team had already left, and she was planning to do exactly the same as soon as possible. In less than eight hours she would be with her brothers, chatting, laughing, preparing the Christmas dinner. She just couldn't wait.

She glanced at Jane, reclining on her couch. She didn't feel good about leaving him alone, but he'd assured her he had 'plans'.

_('I only hope I won't have to get you out,' she said when she heard that._

_He promised she wouldn't, but you could never be sure with Jane, after all.)_

She finished work, gathered her belongings and stood up.

'I'm calling it a day,' she said to Jane. 'I still have a lot of stuff to do before I leave Sacramento.'

Jane stood up. 'I'll walk you to your car.' He helped her put on her coat, then put his own on and the two of them left the office. 'What time are you planning to set off?'

'Around four, I was thinking. It's a six-hour drive usually, and with that weather God knows how long it will take me to get to L.A.'

'Don't worry, it's not like we have a blizzard here. I'd say that seven, seven and a half is the worst-case scenario.'

They exited the building and were instantly welcomed by a cold wind.

Lisbon wrapped her scarf tightly around her neck. 'I hope you're right,' she said, pulling on her left glove.

'Just drive safe, will you?' He was becoming more protective of her lately.

'Of course. What are you going to do?'

'Oh, I told you - a little bit of this, a little bit of that.'

She didn't like the idea, but there was nothing she could do about that. 'Just be safe, will you?'

They smiled at each other. 'Of course.'

Lisbon rummaged through her bag, looking for her right glove. Just as she finally found it, she felt something cold and soft hit her shoulder. 'Don't even start,' she said, not bothering to turn and look at her consultant.

'But Liiisbon...' She didn't have to see him to know that he was doing that pout again.

'I don't have time for that, I haven't packed anything yet.'

'Come on, fifteen minutes won't change anything. And you won't probably see snow again for another seven years.'

'It's not even a proper snow, just a greyish melting mass.'

'You can't build a snowman, true. But a little snowball fight is an entirely different matter. Just think of all the fun...' He looked around, hoping to find something that would convince her.

He didn't have to - in that split second when his back was turned to her, Lisbon bent down, scooped up some snow and made a perfect snowball that a moment later landed on the back of Jane's head.

He spun on his heel, surprised, and started laughing. 'That's not fair,' he said. 'I wasn't looking!'

'That's too bad.' Lisbon shrugged her shoulders and flicked the snow from her gloves. She tried not to smile, but cracked in less than two seconds.

'Just wait, I'll show you a proper fight.' Jane quickly formed another snowball and started chasing Lisbon around the lawn.

She laughed and ran away. He'd been right, that was fun.

* * *

Lisbon hadn't planned to be spending Christmas Eve in the ER.

She was furious.

As always, it was all Jane's fault. If he hadn't insisted on that stupid snowball fight, she wouldn't have slipped and sprained (or broken, she didn't know yet) her ankle.

Now he sat there, beside her, with his blonde curly hair wet from melting snowflakes and his cheeks slightly pink. A goddamn cherub.

'You know, I should be already on my way to L.A.,' she informed him flatly.

Jane had guilt written all over his face. 'I'm sorry. I could drive you there, if you want.'

'No way! I won't bear six hours in a car with that.' She pointed at her swollen ankle with her chin. It hurt like hell, she hadn't got any painkillers, and the doctor disappeared with the results of her X-ray ages ago. Plus, she had an empty fridge and no option for Christmas Day. 'What's taking him so long?'

As if summoned by her irritation, the young doctor approached them with her test results in hand. 'Good news is, your ankle is only sprained, not broken,' he said without preamble. 'Bad news is, you will need a splint for a couple of weeks.'

Lisbon groaned. 'Is that really necessary? How am I supposed to work in the field with a splint?'

'Unfortunately, there's no alternative. I'd suggest sticking to desk duty for a while.'

If looks could kill, he would be dead already. Although with difficulty, Lisbon refrained from comment and let him do whatever he thought necessary.

He finished fifteen minutes later, gave Lisbon the discharge papers and the prescriptions and left them alone.

Everything was more difficult with the splint. Jane watched as she struggled to get off the examination table and put on her coat, at the same time fighting with the crutches.

'Here, let me help you,' he said, jumping to his feet.

'I'm fine,' she snapped, but he ignored her, as always.

Lisbon sighed and stood still as he buttoned her coat down. 'I'm sorry,' she said finally. 'It's not your fault that I'm such a cabbage.'

Jane smiled and straightened. 'You're definitely not.'

She looked up at him. 'What am I supposed to do now? I'm totally unprepared for staying at home and I won't be able to do anything now. God, I'm even incapable of carrying a cup of tea from the kitchen to the living room!'

She looked so miserable that Jane almost laughed. 'I'll help you, don't worry.'

She shook her head. 'That's not an option.'

'Why not? Last year it worked pretty well. Didn't you like it?'

Lisbon smiled a little. Their previous Christmas together had been surprisingly nice. She'd been prepared for a constant fight about every detail, TV remote included, but had instead got a peaceful, quiet night with a friend. Oh yes, that had definitely worked well.

'Of course I did, and you know that. It's just... You already have plans, I can't ask you to stay with me.'

Jane waved his hand dismissively. 'It's nothing I can't cancel. Come on, I'm not taking 'no' as an answer.'

Lisbon considered it for a moment. 'Okay,' she said finally. Like she had a choice.

Jane grinned. 'Thank you. Let's go, shall we?'

* * *

Lisbon sat at the kitchen table, with her leg propped up on the chair, and cut oranges in neat cubes.

Jane had dropped her off at her house and went shopping. Her fridge was empty save for the lunch she'd planned to have before setting off, and you could hardly call pasta with olives a Christmas dinner.

(_'At least you have a proper tree,' he commented with a grin when they entered her house, and she could say he really liked it._)

After a quick inspection of the cupboards, Lisbon had decided to prepare a cake before Jane came back. She wanted to have at least that tiny contribution to the dinner Jane was planning to magic up.

She had already taken her painkillers and was in a slightly better mood. Sure, she was still upset that she wouldn't be able to see her brothers, but that wasn't the end of the world. She had called Tommy and apologized, and he'd promised they would come and visit her on New Year's Day.

She heard the front door open and shut and a moment later Jane entered the kitchen, hefting half a dozen of shopping bags. He put them all on the table and took off his coat.

'My God, Jane.' Lisbon laughed as she caught a packet of raisins that fell from the bag. 'Are you planning to invite the whole neighbourhood?' She started unpacking the bags, but Jane stopped her.

'Don't look into this one, or you'll spoil the surprise,' he joked and took the bag away from her.

'Should I be worried?' she laughed, and he could tell she was curious. 'Some of your surprises didn't exactly end well, you know.'

'Now you're hurting my feelings.' He pouted. 'Can't I even buy you a present without you being so suspicious?'

She was taken aback. 'But I already got a present from you.'

A few days before there had been a Christmas party at the CBI. They had exchanged wishes then, drank some wine with the boss, chatted with people they barely knew. Lisbon and her team had been the only ones that had had gifts for each other.

Of course, she and Jane had exchanged presents then, too. And there he was, claiming he'd bought her another present!

'I don't have anything for you,' she admitted.

He smiled warmly. 'I've already got my gift today.'

Lisbon looked confused, but didn't push him any further. 'What are you going to cook?' she asked, turning her attention back to the shopping bags.

'I was thinking of roast turkey with cranberry and walnut stuffing for tomorrow and marmalade ham for today. How does that sound?'

'A real Christmas menu.' She smiled. 'Perfect.'

'I'm glad you like the idea. I forgot about the dessert,' he admitted. 'But I see you've already taken care of it.' He pointed at the oranges and batter she'd prepared earlier.

'Exactly,' she laughed, grabbing the packet of raisins. 'It will be ready in no time.'

'All set, then. Let's get started, we have a lot of work. And after we've finished, maybe we could watch a movie?' he asked, drawing a box from one of the bags.

Lisbon laughed. 'Seriously, 'Love, actually'?'

'Don't you like it?'

'I love it, don't worry. But will you really voluntarily watch a romantic comedy with me?'

He flashed a smile. 'Of course. It's Christmas time, I have to be nice to you.'

'Does that mean I have to be nice to you, too?' she teased him.

Jane shrugged his shoulders. 'It's your choice. But remember, Santa is watching you,' he said, making Lisbon laugh again.

* * *

It was well after midnight when Jane and Lisbon finished watching the movie and turned the TV off. Preparing the perfect Christmas meal had taken them longer than they'd expected, and cleaning the kitchen after they'd been done was even worse.

Jane stood up and stretched. His improvised dinner was now a distant memory, and a pile of empty dishes on the table assured him that it had turned out pretty good.

'I'd better clean this mess, or Santa won't bring us any presents,' he joked, picking up the first few plates.

'I'll help you.' Lisbon threw the blanket away and sat up.

Jane grinned. 'And how exactly are you going to carry all that stuff while simultaneously walking on crutches?' he asked.

Lisbon shrugged her shoulders. 'I'll come up with a system for that, eventually.'

'By trial and error? I'm afraid you don't have so many plates. If you want, come and help me with washing them, you don't need two good ankles to dry the dishes.'

'Okay.' Slowly, not accepting Jane's hand, Lisbon stood up and limped to the kitchen.

Jane joined her a moment later, carrying a dozen of plates and two teacups on top of the pile.

'Be careful,' she warned him. 'I like these cups.'

Jane nodded, too focused to answer, and safely placed the dishes in the sink. He turned to look at Lisbon. 'How's your leg?' he asked.

'I'll live, don't worry.' She sat down at the table. Her ankle was killing her, but she wasn't going to upset him, he already felt guilty without it. She changed the subject. 'You know, Annie got engaged last week.'

'Really? That's great. Is she going to invite me to the wedding?' he asked innocently.

Lisbon rolled her eyes. 'I advised her against it, but she isn't going to listen anyway. She's coming to visit next month, you'll get a proper invitation then.'

'And who's the lucky guy? Do you know him?'

'His name's Ethan. I met him briefly, he seemed to be nice. But you know Annie - she will kick his ass if he isn't.'

Jane grinned. Annie, a beautiful twenty-year-old, with a firm opinion on every subject and her heart set on police academy, wasn't exactly what you would call a sweet girl. But she was sharp as a tack, honest and loyal - just like her aunt - and she deserved the best man in the world.

Lisbon's phone rang. She glanced at the screen and smiled. 'Speak of the devil,' she said.

Jane took the cloth from her. 'Have some girls' talk, I'll finish the washing-up.'

'Thanks.' She stood up and limped to the living room. A moment later Jane heard her chat cheerfully. Smiling, he went back to the dishes.

* * *

He finished the invidious work half an hour later. Lisbon had ended the call a while before, but hadn't come back to the kitchen. He dried his hands and went to check on her.

Lisbon was curled up on the sofa, fast asleep, with her sprained ankle propped up on the armrest. Jane chuckled and left the room, only to come back a moment later with a box wrapped in green elegant paper, with a nice red bow.

He placed the present under the Christmas tree and sat on the floor next to the sofa.

For a while he watched Lisbon sleep, her left hand under her cheek, her lips slightly parted, dark hair scattered on the pillow. Then he slid his arms under her thin frame and picked her up, careful not to hurt her leg. She stirred, but didn't open her eyes.

Jane stood still for a moment, a small smile playing on his lips, and when he was sure that Lisbon was still fast asleep, carried her to her bedroom.

He glanced at her face again. He couldn't understand why she was always so stubborn. Thank God she hadn't woken up. If she had, she would have probably kicked his ass with her splint for treating her like a damsel in distress.

As he climbed up the stairs, he smiled to his thoughts. He didn't like seeing Lisbon in pain, but thanks to that little 'accident' his Christmas was better than he had ever dreamt.

Actually, he could get used to it.

* * *

Lisbon couldn't remember the moment when she'd fallen asleep. She'd finished talking to Annie, and then closed her eyes only for a second...

She woke up when she sensed a movement next to her, but was too tired to open her eyes. A moment later she felt Jane's strong arms lifting her off the sofa.

She didn't dare move as he carried her to her room. She couldn't remember the last time someone had taken care of her, it had been so long ago that she'd forgotten how good it felt to be looked after.

Her perfectly planned Christmas had been ruined, true, but she wasn't going to complain. Jane had changed, was now more thoughtful and considerate, and she really enjoyed spending time with him.

He carefully placed Lisbon on her bed. She hadn't even realised how much she missed intimacy, how much she needed someone in her life.

Jane gently tucked her in, turned off the light and left.

Once alone in the darkness, Lisbon opened her eyes ans smiled, thinking about the man now sitting in her living room. She recalled all the good moments of the day - making dinner together, chatting about nothing, watching the movie, even that stupid snowball fight. It felt so comforting, so... homey.

Oh yes, she thought, drifting off to sleep again, she could definitely get used to it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Soooo, I didn't manage to finish the story before Christmas (yeah, what a surprise). But chapter 3 is finally up, enjoy :) It's rather angsty and depressing, not very Christmas-y, I'm afraid. The next – and last – chapter will hopefully be more cheerful, and this time I promise it will be up in less than a week.**

**There are one or two swearwords in this one. Just warning.**

* * *

_**One year later**_

Teresa Lisbon was in a very festive mood. For the first time in three years she was going to spend Christmas with her brothers. All three of them were supposed to get to Sacramento the next day, and Annie and her husband promised to drop by on their way to Ethan's parents, too. Lisbon just couldn't wait. As she was preparing guest bedrooms for the family invasion, she thought of all the things that had changed in her life in the past year.

Her house – _their _house (how good it sounded, she thought) – was almost ready for the celebrations. Jane had decorated the front yard, and while he'd got a bit carried away, Lisbon loved every part of it. He'd also baked gingerbread, hung the mistletoe over the door and was now trimming the Christmas tree in the living room. Lisbon smiled to herself when she heard him singing _Let It Snow_. He was finally at peace and she, too, had never been happier.

* * *

Jane opened another box of ornaments and smiled. He just found a set of the most beautiful porcelain angels with delicate openwork wings, each holding a different musical instrument. Who would have thought that Lisbon was so romantic. He'd expected porcelain shotguns or something equally subtle, but was pleasantly surprised to learn that she had a softer side, too.

Not that he hadn't noticed her softer side in the previous twelve months, of course. The woman had many faces and exploring them had given him a lot of satisfaction. It hadn't been a piece of cake, though - after all that she'd been through, she had still been reluctant to show her emotions, even to him. But slowly, day after day, he'd won her trust.

He still felt strange, trimming the Christmas tree and decorating the house. He hadn't prepared family Christmas since… since he'd had a family. Before doing anything, he'd thought about Angela and Charlotte, about their Christmases together. He'd taken his wedding ring off, but that didn't mean he'd forgotten. He never would. But Angie would want him to be happy - and he finally was.

He was a bit nervous about that huge family dinner, though. He'd met Lisbon's brothers before and knew they liked him – or at least tolerated him – but it was something entirely different.

Plus, he had something _very _special prepared to mark their first anniversary. He smiled at the thought. He only hoped that Lisbon would like his surprise.

He gave the tree a critical look and moved one of the baubles. 'Tess,' he called out, 'could you come here for a second?'

* * *

Preparing everything with Jane felt good. They had been together for a year – and while it hadn't been an easy year, Lisbon was grateful for every minute of it. She remembered every morning, every dinner together, every movie they'd watched, curled on her sofa, and every book they'd read. She hadn't been used to being with someone twenty four-seven, but now she couldn't imagine it any other way.

At first it had been a nightmare. After their first kiss and the beautiful snowy Christmas week spent at her house, real life had seemed to overwhelm them. They'd fought about literally every detail, defending their territories, not understanding that they should be a team, not mortal enemies.

It had been even worse at work. They'd decided to keep their relationship secret for as long as possible, but it hadn't exactly gone well. Jane's shenanigans had made Lisbon even more furious than usually, and it had been rather difficult to hide that something had changed, with them yelling at each other almost all the time, and then not talking for the whole day.

Of course, there had also been beautiful moments – they had been madly in love, after all – and only because of them Lisbon and Jane hadn't given up so easily.

And yet, it had been very difficult. Lisbon had promised herself she wouldn't cry because of Jane, and had broken the promise just a month later, when he'd accidentally called her Angela. That had led to a heartbreaking argument, in which Jane had admitted that maybe he hadn't been ready for another serious relationship. She'd been crying for three hours straight then, and been very close to giving up. She'd understood Jane and been willing to sacrifice a lot for their love, but even she'd had her breaking point.

It had been Annie who had finally saved the day and made them realize what had really been important. She'd come to visit in February, and when she'd seen what state her aunt had been in, decided to take matters in her own hands. There had been hours and hours of conversations with Lisbon, Jane, and finally both of them, but she'd succeeded. As if something had just clicked, their problems had seemed to disappear overnight. It hadn't been perfect, of course, but at least they'd learned how to listen to each other and make small sacrifices every day.

From then on, it had been very, _very_ good.

* * *

'Tess, could you come here for a second?'

She only rolled her eyes and laughed. Jane had been calling her every ten minutes that afternoon, only to ask her whether she preferred blue or red tinsels, whether he should use golden or silver bells, what kind of lights she wanted on the tree... The man was tireless.

She didn't mind, though, as he rewarded her every answer with a tender kiss.

Now she put down the towels she was carrying and went to the living room. Jane had turned on the radio and was now humming _White Christmas _along with Bing Crosby. 'What is it this time?' she asked with a grin.

'I can't make up my mind – do you think our stockings look better on the left or the right side of the fireplace?'

She couldn't help laughing. 'Seriously? You're running out of excuses to drag me here, aren't you?'

Jane didn't even look away from the fireplace. 'You're right, they look better on the left,' he said. Then he turned to face her. 'Do I really need an excuse to make you come to me?'

'Not really.' Lisbon smiled affectionately at him. 'Have you finished with the tree already?'

'Of course.' Jane turned on the lights. 'Do you like it?' he asked proudly, like a kid waiting for words of praise.

'It's beautiful. No wonder, you've been trimming it for the past four hours,' she teased.

'Hey, I wanted it to be perfect for you.' He kissed her. 'Would you like to place the star on the top?'

'I'd love to.' She took the metal golden star from him with a smile.

And then the song changed. As the first sounds of _Mary's Boy Child_ echoed in the room, Lisbon froze.

The carol reminded her of another Christmas, another tree, long time ago.

Something she wanted to wipe from her memory, and yet it kept haunting her, even after all those years.

The star fell from her hand and hit the floor with a clang, but she didn't notice it.

The room blurred, and suddenly she couldn't breathe, she was suffocating, fighting for air...

* * *

Teresa bought a Christmas tree.

It wasn't very big – she couldn't afford a full-sized one – but it was a beautiful shade of green and smelled amazingly, reminding her of forest in the summer. As she walked down the streets, people smiled at her – a petite fifteen-year-old carrying a fir almost as big as herself was indeed an entertaining sight.

When she brought it home, her father wasn't there yet. Her brothers watched with shiny eyes as she placed the tree in its stand.

'Okay, guys,' she said with a grin. 'Who wants to put the lights on it?'

'Let me! Let me do it!' Michael, the hyperactive five-year-old, jumped up and down with excitement. 'Please, Reese, I will be careful.'

'Are you kidding?' Tommy laughed at his brother. 'It's a job for adults!'

Michael pouted. 'You are not an adult. You're only ten, you moron!'

'Michael, behave.' Teresa laughed. 'Why don't you three just do it together while I bring the rest of the ornaments?'

Tommy shrugged his shoulders. 'Fine, why not.'

'Good. Now be nice, I'll be back in a moment.'

When she came back five minutes later, the tree was glistening beautifully. She smiled. 'Nice job,' she commented, placing the box with Christmas balls on the coffee table.

They spent the next hour on trimming the tree, arranging the ornaments, rearranging them, changing the concept at least five times, before finally it was ready.

Tommy couldn't take his eyes off the tree. 'It's beautiful,' he said.

'Yeah, it totally rocks.' Michael threw himself on the sofa, admiring their little masterpiece.

'_You_ rock, Reese.' James smiled warmly. 'Thank you.'

Teresa ruffled his curly hair. 'I'm glad you liked the surprise. Now, let's clean this mess.'

They started putting the unused ornaments back in the box.

'Hey, Reese?' Michael looked up at her. 'You know, Miss Baker taught us a nice carol today, but I can't remember all the lines. Will you help me?'

'Sure. I only hope I know it.'

'You do, you know everything! It goes like this.' He jumped off the sofa and stood in front of her. In the dim light of the room his black hair seemed to be even darker. '_Long time ago in Bethlehem, so the Holy Bible said, Mary's boy child Jesus Christ was born on Christmas day_.' He had a perfect pitch and Teresa wished he would someday play the piano, just like their mother. 'And I can't remember what's next,' he admitted.

'_Hark, now hear the angels sing, a king was born today_,' she continued, and Michael grinned happily.

'_And man will live for evermore, because of Christmas Day_.' James and Tommy joined her, already in the Christmas mood.

'That's it!' Michael clapped his hands. 'Thanks, guys. Hey, you know what? We should start a band!'

Teresa laughed. 'Yeah, sure. And what would be the name?'

'Reese and the Superheroes,' joked James, and they all laughed so hard they couldn't breathe. Teresa and Michael fell onto the sofa, giggling uncontrollably.

A moment later they heard the front door open.

'Teresa? I'm back!' their father shouted from the hallway.

Teresa stood up. He was far too noisy to be sober, she thought. She mentally prepared herself for a fight.

She didn't expect, though, what happened next.

'Dad!' Michael jumped off the sofa and ran to the hallway. Before Teresa could react, he literally dragged his father to the living room. 'Look what Reese bought! Isn't it fantastic?

The man's eyes fell on the tree, its colorful ornaments and blinking lights. 'What the hell is this?!' Oh yes, he _was_ drunk.

'Take them upstairs,' Teresa mouthed to James, who nodded reluctantly. 'Don't worry, Dad, it wasn't expensive.'

'What do you mean, not expensive? I told you we can't afford a goddamn tree, no matter how cheap!' He was only seconds from an outburst, and Teresa was frantically thinking of something she could say to calm him down.

'I know, Dad, I know. But I did all the shopping, bought everything you wanted me to. Besides, I earned money for the tree, didn't take yours.' She was speaking very fast, determined to see the conflict off.

'How could you earn anything? Don't make me laugh! You can't even wash the dishes properly, let alone work for real!'

Teresa felt the tears pricking at the back of her eyes, but didn't let them fall. 'I helped Mrs Tanner with the Christmas cleaning,' she said. 'She was very happy with me, actually.'

'Because she is old and blind,' he gave out an unpleasant laugh. 'Doesn't matter. If you earn any money, you have to bring it to me, do you understand? You're such a bloody idiot, Teresa!'

'Don't call me that! I didn't do anything wrong!'

'Oh, really? We need so many things, and what do you buy with some extra money? A fucking _Christmas tree_!'

'I have everything under control! The boys have new shoes, they are not hungry, they are not cold. What's so wrong about a little joy in life?'

'Don't talk to me like that, you little shit,' he hissed and took a step towards Teresa. His face was now just a few inches from hers. He grasped her wrist in a vice-tight grip. 'You're old enough to work? Sure, why not. You'll find a regular job after Christmas. And just for the record – all the money comes to me. I keep you all and I'll decide on what to spend it on, understood?'

'Let go, it hurts!' Teresa tried to free her wrist, but her father only tightened his grip.

'I haven't finished yet! That,' he pointed at the tree, 'will disappear in the next five minutes, and don't care how you'll do this, but I want the money you've earned back.' He finally let go of her.

She took a step back, wincing as she tried to move her wrist. 'I don't have that money any more! Why do you want it so desperately? Oh, I know.' She didn't control herself any more, he'd ruined their quiet perfect afternoon. 'You'd prefer I bought a nice, shiny bottle of Scotch for you, wouldn't you?'

Now she saw real fury in his eyes. Without warning, his fist landed on her jaw.

Her father had hit her before, pain was her old friend. That time, however, she underestimated his anger. The force of his punch sent Teresa flying across the room. She hit her head against the wall, her vision blurring at once. She managed to stay upright, but the room was spinning. Through the haze she saw her father coming closer and instinctively covered her face.

'You want joy?!' He hit her again, this time aiming at her stomach. Teresa doubled over, her legs finally giving way. 'I will show you…' Hit. 'One hell…' Hit. 'Of a joy!' Hit.

He just ran amok that time. He beat her repeatedly, his rage not subsiding the least bit. Teresa clenched her teeth, doing her best not to cry out. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction, she had to be strong.

He finally got tired. Breathing heavily, he looked down at the crumpled figure of his daughter. Then he turned and walked away, knocking over the tree as he passed. The glass ornaments smashed on the floor. 'Christmas is cancelled,' he said and left the room.

Teresa lay still for a few minutes – or maybe hours, she didn't know and didn't care – trying to calm down. Tears were running down her face, but she didn't dare cry out loud. He would come back and beat her again.

Every millimeter of her body hurt, but she wasn't crying with pain. She was crying over her own foolishness. How could she be so naïve, bringing that goddamn tree home? She should have known better than that. Her father had been right, she was such an idiot.

When she heard the front door shut, Teresa dared sit up. Uh, it was bad. She must have hit her head real hard, the whole world was spinning. She took a few deep breaths, waiting for the dizziness to pass, and stood up carefully. She probably had a concussion. Not her first, not her last, she could live with it.

After quickly assessing her injuries and making sure she hadn't broken anything, Teresa moved on to clearing the remnants of the ornaments. Then she went to the bathroom to clean herself up.

She winced when she saw her own reflection in the mirror. A swollen lip, a black eye and a cut on her right cheek, still bleeding slightly, wasn't exactly what she'd hoped for. She had really tried to cover her face, but to no avail. There would be a whole lot of explaining at school the next day. She sighed and carefully washed her face, then reached for a foundation. Over the years she'd become very good at hiding her bruises, even from her brothers.

She only wished she didn't have to do it so often.

When she'd finished, she went upstairs to check on the boys. She knocked softly and entered their room.

They all sat on Michael's bed, shoulder to shoulder, with their backs against the wall. When she opened the door, they cringed before they saw it was her. Teresa's heart broke at the sight.

Without a word, she sat down next to them. Michael snuggled up to her, sobbing quietly. She stroke his hair, whispering soothing words.

James watched her anxiously. 'Are you all right?' he asked finally and ran his hand over her cheek.

'Don't worry about me, I have had worse.'

'That's not exactly comforting,' he sighed. She saw his hands trembling with anger. James, three years her junior, hated the fact that he couldn't defend his sister and that she was always the one getting owned. He could see it all - her too heavy make-up, a nasty bruise on her wrist, her unfocused eyes, giving away the fact that she wasn't really all right.

'There's not much we can do about it. Apart from cutting down on my stupid ideas, of course.' She gave him a small smile, and then changed the subject. 'Okay, guys, time to go to sleep.'

Ten minutes later all three of them were in their beds. Teresa kissed them goodnight and turned down the light. She didn't turn it off completely - after days like that Michael refused to sleep in the dark, and although Tommy and James didn't say anything, Teresa knew they preferred it on, too.

She was about to leave, when Michael opened his eyes. 'Will you stay with us? Please, just for a few minutes.'

'Of course. Scoot over, kid.' Teresa nestled in his bed, and the boy immediately clung to her. She felt achy all over, but her little brother's warm body somehow soothed her shattered nerves. She closed her eyes.

'Reese?'

'Mhm?' She was already drifting off to sleep.

'Will you sing me that carol again?'

He sounded so lost and helpless, a scared child who desperately needed a sense of security in his life. Teresa didn't know that it was possible, but now she hated her father even more than before. He was supposed to take care of them, not hurt them!

She started singing quietly, rocking Michael in her arms. Her soft voice filled the room and soon lulled them to sleep.

Downstairs, the clock stroke midnight. Teresa listened to the twelve chimes, mixed with her brothers' even breathing. She kissed Michael's forehead. 'Merry Christmas,' she whispered before falling asleep too.

* * *

'Tess? Teresa, what's wrong?'

Jane's alarmed voice brought Lisbon out of her reverie. She looked around the room, at the same time trying to steady her breathing. She realised she was kneeling on the floor, clutching her chest. She felt dizzy, her heart was pounding and her hands were shaking slightly.

She tried to smile, but it turned out rather wanly. 'I'm sorry I scared you,' she said, her voice trembling. 'It's just... I...' She couldn't utter another word and just started crying.

'Teresa, what is going on?' Now Jane was really worried. He led her to the sofa and took her hand. 'Tess, please, talk to me.'

And she did. In between sobs, she told him the whole story, and all Jane could do was to wrap his arms around her. With her every word his fists clenched tighter and tighter. How he wanted to hurt the bastard who'd broken her!

Slowly, gradually, Lisbon calmed down. 'I'm sorry,' she said, wiping her eyes. 'I'm hopeless, freaking out like this because of a stupid song.'

'Hey, don't say that.' He squeezed her hand. 'I understand.'

Lisbon thought that he, too, had songs like that, bringing back the most painful memories. He really understood what she felt. Maybe that had been what attracted them to each other in the first place – understanding.

She gave a small laugh. 'Look at us,' she said. 'Two miserable people, broken beyond repair-'

'That's not true,' he interrupted her. 'You have already fixed me more times than I could actually count.'

He smiled warmly and kissed the top of her head. 'And I promise you that one day I will fix you, too.'


End file.
